Motivational Quotes:

1. If at first you don’t succeed, just kill yourself.

2. If life hands you a lemon, turn around and chuck that sumbitch at the first asshat you see.

3. Where there’s a will, there’s a big-assed roadblock obliterating your way.

4. Just do it….and someone else will come along and take all the credit for it…rat bastards.

5. A job done well is a job that you wanted to do but you were too lazy to get off your ass to do it.

6. The future is now, for those of you who don’t know what the definition of future really is.

7. Early to bed and early to rise is what a man does when he combines his highs.

8. Courage is grace under pressure…wait a minute…what did that stupid TV show have to do with courage?

9. Give me liberty, or at least give me a cheeseburger and a 6 pack, you cheap ass.

10. You have succeeded in life when all you want is what you really need….like 4 cars, a mansion, a few million in the bank, and a hot maid.

11. The early bird…well, he has to get up before the rest of the birds, the poor bastard.

12. Motivation is what gets you started. 3 meals a day from Taco Bell is what keeps you going.

13. Motivation comes from within. So does poop.

14. Knowledge is power. A shitload of cash is torque.

15. You may have to fight the battle more than once to win it….unless you used a nuke the first time around.

16. No one ever excused his way to success, but it does get you off the hook for ripping a fart at the dinner table.

17. Throw your heart over the fence and the rest will…..collapse in a heap because you threw your heart over the fence.

18. Goals are dreams with deadlines…no, wait….they’re what hockey players get when the little puck goes in the net.

19. The world makes way for the man who knows where he’s going. It makes even more way if he’s driving a big truck down the sidewalk.

20. By losing your goal, you have lost your way. So beat the shit out of the referee who made that call.